User Profile

I'm a single mother of a gorgeous little girl. As you may have guessed, it wasn't planned. I have moments when I think I'm the worst mother on the planet and there is no hope for me to ever become a better one, there are times when I hate myself for not giving her up for adoption because I consider myself unstable at times--I will probably write about all of this and believe it or not--I don't want your sympathy. Sometimes I just need to get my thoughts down in text to sort it all out.

I used to be a skinhead. I'm not proud of this--but it's part of what has made me who I am so I refuse to deny it. I have a swastika tattoo, that I won't get covered because it marked a time in my life and I see my body as a scrapbook of sorts. I would never deny my past, but I've come to terms with the fact that it is just that--the past. I am not racist, or fascist of any sort now. I was a scared 14 year old girl, desperately trying to find a place that I fit. I compromised everything I believed in to fit in and I'll never do it again. So, all in all, lesson learned.

I'm an aspiring novelist and special effects make up artist. I'm really into body modification, I enjoy every aspect of it--sensation, spirituality, self awareness, etc. I would rather read a good book than watch television but,I do enjoy horror movies, adult swim, tv land, history channel, TLC, and the discovery channel.

I seem stuck up to most, because I tend to be withdrawn. It's not because I am stuck up or think I'm better than anyone, I would just much rather be completely engulfed in intellectual conversation than struggling to make small talk. It's almost impossible for me to carry on a polite small conversation. But, this shouldn't discourage you if you really want to talk to me. I'm not as awful as I seem.

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